# Update message sent to the end-of-life discussion list I'm on

Date: Mon, 19 Sep 2022 21:04:18 -0500
Subject: erm, well, maybe not.  Yet.

I've been so mired in things that need doing NOW NOW NOW that I don't think
I posted a general update on my Mom.  A few of you received more detail a
couple of days ago, but for the general viewership ... my "adventure" has
taken that hard left at Albuquerque and I am so far into the weeds that I
can barely tell if it's night or day.  *Not* what I expected at all.

In short, everyone thought Mom was simply a goner, but then she started
to bounce back.  When I arrived in FL a week ago I expected to walk into
the hospice place and find the empty husk with none of that "my-Mom-ness"
left, but she knew who I was and why I was there and we had an actual real
conversation.  Not only that, but she was [barely] able to *wolf* down the
chicken sandwich they brought her for lunch.  I was surprised AF, although she
still has no memory of the triggering incident.  The best guess the medics
could come up with was "seizure" of some sort.  Over the next few days she
became more and more of her old self.  She's still really weak, totally
helpless, can't do any "transfers" to service basic needs for herself ...
but I've managed to lay enough arrangements in place that she's going to
"graduate" out of Hospice and get taken back to the retirement-facility's
nursing center for rehab if it's possible.  Yeah, it happens sometimes.

I don't envy any healthcare provider's job in situations like this -- they
really are heroes in their own way.

So I'm having to use my DPoA and healthcare-surrogate after all, when I fully
expected to be taking death certificates to various institutions.  At this
point I have to take control of all the finances because there's no way she
can deal with it, and of course put everything online and as automated as
possible so I can manage it all from Boston.  What a freakin' nightmare.  With
Mom unable to travel to where, say, there could be a notary and a bank officer
able to do those funny "medallion signature guarantees", things are a little
more difficult.  I've been doing my best, bringing things for her to try to
sign ... the first attempt on some bank paperwork was kind of a disaster, her
dexterity was still way off, but the bank accepted it ... but three days later
another document received something that looked a lot more like her usual bold
cursive.  All of this is good for her -- if she never has to look at a dollar
figure again, she'll be that much happier.  She hates numbers, and was already
having trouble balancing her checkbook every month.  Fortunately, we made me a
legal co-trustee alongside her, back when my Dad passed, so all I have to do
now is create the parallel truth with regard to actual accounts.

As I told someone else,  Weirdest.  Week.  Evah.

It's slowly coming together, though.  I managed to get online with the bank
and do some billpay, and it'll take another week for various new stuff to
arrive and be finalized, but at least I *can* stay here for a while and
handle stuff locally.  I've had to hire in dedicated "private duty" care
even though she'll be at the nursing center -- they want a continuous week
of observation at least.  It's kind of funky having this rather nice detached
"club home" that she was living in all to myself, but I'm receiving lots of
sympathy from the folks around the facility who know Mom, and in fact I had
dinner this evening in their dining room with a couple of Mom's closest buds
and brought them all up to date.

_H*