Date: Wed, 05 Oct 2022 16:57:12 -0500
To: [my production-techie group]
Subject: a foul smell pervades the kitchen

This afternoon I took a modern, chip + contactless-enabled bank card and
put it in the microwave.  Within about a second, it BLEW UP and started
emitting large flames.  The burn-thru of the contactless loop antenna
is obvious, and that also connects to the chip so it's done done done.

A fitting end for anything coming from Bank of America.  The stench in
the kitchen will dissipate, but their stench in the financial world will
go on forever.

_H*

##  Someone responded and asked what was so stinky about BoA, and I let fly:


Date: Wed, 05 Oct 2022 17:23:21 -0500
Subject: Re: a foul smell pervades the kitchen
To: [same said production-tech group]

Up front?  Try getting hold of a *human* at their main support, 800-421-2110,
to just ask a simple question without reference to any particular account.
You will loop around the IVR a few times and then basically be told "try your
call later, fuck off, *click*".  They're also the *only* institution where
some hatchet-lady branch manager made an issue of my footwear, and branch
personnel generally treat clients like genetically-inferior pieces of meat.
Their web site is the quintessential horror show, and uses OFFSHORE site
components [for bank of AMERICA?!].  Over the years they've swallowed a whole
bunch of perfectly functional locals and threw away anything that was good
about them.  They are way too big to care.

I got out of them with extreme prejudice several years ago, but realizing
that my Mom still had a credit card with them elicited the visceral reaction
that is driving my PoA-enabled ASAP cancellation of that account.

_H*

##  Being that everyone has their own horror stories, it touched off a bit
##  of a rant-fest as others chimed in:


Date: Wed, 5 Oct 2022 18:39:09 -0400
From: HS

It more a matter of what have they not done. They bought my local bank. I
closed the account just before the sale. Then they cam e after me a year
later for a negative balance on the account I had closed. All Fees charged
by the bank for merly having an account, which I had already closed.

I've heard lots of stories like mine.

Here is their copmany song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Owuk3cZGtQ

-H

##


Date: Wed, 5 Oct 2022 23:03:47 +0000
From: LCS

"Foul smell" and "BoA" reminded me of this scheme from Abbie Hoffman's
"Steal this Book" (https://libcom.org/article/steal-book-abbie-hoffman) --
one of the less-terrible ideas, though probably too risky these days with
better identification:

    "Another good bit is to rent a safe deposit box (only about
    $7.00 a year) in a bank using a phony name. That usually only need
    a signature and don't ask for identification. When you get a box,
    deposit a good size dead fish inside the deposit box, close it up
    and return it to its proper niche. From then on, forget about it.
    Now think about it, in a few months there is going to be a
    hell-of-a-smell from your small investment. It's going to be almost
    impossible to trace and besides, they can never open the box
    without your permission. Since you don't exist, they'll have no
    alternative but to move away. Invest in the Stank of Amerika
    savings program. Just check out Lake Erie and you'll see saving
    fish isn't such a dumb idea. If you get caught, tell them you
    inherited the fish from your grandmother and it has sentimental value."

##


Date: Wed, 5 Oct 2022 19:11:27 -0400
From: CZ

I had a Mensa card that was from BOA for about 15 years. Used it to pay
for the milk delivery as my main card has been Amex for over 30 years now.

Anyway, during the pandemic I closed out a unsecured loan account at a
local bank and when I did the payoff they neglected to add the six cents
for the day's interest. Thus I had a "balance" which was dutifully
reported to credit agencies as "late" for 6 months. But of course that
was below the bank's threshold for sending a bill, so I never got any
notice....

BOA promptly saw the 6 cent deficiency and cancelled my Mastercard with
a letter and immediate shutdown. Screwed up my milk delivery for a week.
When I found out why the local bank immediately issued an apology, we
had a good laugh, and they fixed my credit history no problem.

As far as BOA goes: Fuck em. No call, no query, no human going "hm, he's
late on a six cent balance payment, something's odd". Just straight into
the dustbin after 15 years.

Fuck, as they say, them.

CZ

##


Date: Wed, 5 Oct 2022 19:45:43 -0500
From: S

Aside from my wife's fun with them and an ATM, my reason for leaving was
they wanted to put a four day hold on a BoA official check which I needed
for something, I don't remember what it was a business passthrough
something for about 50k, not small but not huge. Something they could
easily check and per their sign would be available next business day.
NBD, was a weekday.

I took the check down the block to the Sovereign ( now Santander ) and
opened an account there with it, and had funds available before I needed to
pay whichever con(?) it was   Waited till all outstanding debits cleared
and closed out all my accounts.