##  A bit of back-and-forth with someone who had offered to help pick up held
##  mail from the Post Office, but I found that couldn't "authorize" on the
##  fly after the fact of setting the hold in the first place.  Some discussion
##  of caregiver options also transpired.


Date: Thu, 04 Aug 2022 16:46:28 -0500
To: [friend I would entrust with mail-handling]
Subject: longrange thinking..

So I'm down in FL again, being the stunt caregiver for my mom, until this
supposedly magic leg-brace arrives and should enable her to get around a little
better than now.  Basically, at this point she can't get through a day by
herself, and needs me to do a jillion little things through the course of it.
We're working on trying to contract with third-party visit-in care, but that's
not coming together very fast.

The main thing is, I might need to be here through most of Aug which might
put me past the 30-day limit on the USPS mail hold.  I don't yet know if
I can authorize someone to come by my town's post office and pick up
accumulated mail and thus allow me to set up another hold, I'd have to call
them and ask.  Since a lot of it is handled online now, I'm not sure they
can even accomodate special-case personal needs.  But if I need to stay past
Aug 25, I think you said you might be able to swing by up this way and help
deal with minor things?  The house itself should be stable until leaves
start seriously falling, but the mail is the more PITA issue as we get near
the end of August.  If I'm still needing to stay here.  If, if, if.  None
of this is an immediate need, just wanting to plant the seed based on what
you mentioned a while back...

tnx

_H*

##


Date: Thu, 4 Aug 2022 17:57:03 -0400
From: [said friend]
Subject: Re: longrange thinking..

Hi, Hobbit --

Yes, I can do whatever needs doing. Don't hesitate to ask. I'm in and out
through August -- on the Cape some to help out my own parents -- but
otherwise entirely at your disposal.

Also, see if any of your mom's friends have suggestions for someone who
could come in to help. Word of mouth can work wonders, if you get lucky. (I
may have just gotten respite care for my dad a couple of days a week,
through a friend of my incoming tenant.)

What city in Florida? I can see whether I know someone in the area, if you
like. You're looking for full-time, or daily for a few hours, or what?

Good luck,

##


Date: Fri, 05 Aug 2022 05:07:51 -0500
To: [said friend]

We have some pretty good word-of-mouth references for caregivers.  I can do a
lot of things but we're both agreeing to draw the line at personal hands-on
stuff like showers, which she needs help with.  The other things so far are
still okay, she can handle those transfers etc.

We're in Sarasota, sort of in the southeast of it, at a fairly well-known
retirement facility.  Nice place, very high-end, one of the many "continuing
care" model places that FL is full of.  But those "continuing" paths involve
different sections of the facility and moving residents around, which in mom's
situation is a pain in the ass.  So getting external paid help in is the
alternative.  We're still trying to work out what a schedule would be; they
have 4-hour minimums and one would have to design a set of tasks/activities to
neatly fill that at appropriate times.  It can include shopping runs to the
store, misc housework, laundry, etc.  The problem at the mo' is motivating
Mom to actually lay all this out in her mind and make the right calls.

_H*

##



Date: Wed, 10 Aug 2022 14:07:32 -0400
From: [said friend]

Well, it sounds as though you have matters well in hand. And yes, for me
the hard part has been getting my father to accept that he needs help
caring for my mother. I think he finally has accepted that, which is a
relief.

Would your mother consider moving up to Boston, where you can help her
without a multi-day drive? There are some nice assisted lving communities
around here. (A hard sell, for sure.)


##  Heh, hard sell doesn't begin to cover it.  Mom moved to FL in the late
##  nineties specifically to get *away* from Northeast winters, and moving back
##  up was basically not an option.  Not that someone in a care facility would
##  ever have to deal with a snowstorm themselves, really -- many people in
##  such living situations hardly ever go outside at all anymore.  In theory,
##  Mom could stay in a nice warm place and look out the window at winter
##  weather like it was on TV -- but no, still basically not in the cards.


Date: Sat, 13 Aug 2022 08:31:53 -0500
To: [said friend]

I have not yet consulted my local post office to see if I could authorize
someone to pick up mail.  I asked down here when I was dropping something
off, and was told that the only person(s) who can do that are people who
also live at the same address.  That sounds overly restrictive, so I'm
wondering if that's a regional rule or USPS-wide.  I'll call my local one
closer to the mail-hold expiration.

I'm still in this damn holding pattern, waiting on the arrival of the new
leg-brace.  We've accomplished most of the major stuff-launching goals I
came here with, and earmarked future tasks, but now there's little to do
on that front until progress is made on the orthotics.  Even with all that,
the last thing Mom wants to do is to have to move to assisted-living...

_H*


##  Said friend also asked about the possibilty of just using a post office
##  box, which I had already looked into.


Date: Tue, 16 Aug 2022 12:23:00 -0500
To: [said friend]

The problem with a PO box is that you can only let stuff pile up in *it*
for 30 days as well.  Thought about it, not a roadtrip solution...

As time nears when I might have to wheedle extra time out of my post office,
I will ask them if I can authorize someone.  The USPS site says I can, but
only via setting it up in advance in person with some kind of paper form at
the actual office.  Maybe they'll give me an allowance, like they did when
I was on a 2-month roadtrip in the early 20teens, but things were possibly
less formalized/centralized back then.

However, all of this may be moot, as we picked up the new leg-brace yesterday
[it came in like *right* after I sent the mail] and Mom's been playing with
installing/removing it and walking around a bit.  She's still unsteady AF,
which is worrisome under any conditions, but if it helps her get around the
house more or less normally then that's what we need.

The PT lady was just here this morning, so yes, and Mom's got a little
schedule of daily mild exercises to try and get done.  Motivation is a bit
of a factor, she's pretty unhappy about her body at the moment with the
neuropathy being such a moving target.  At least today the pain is subsided,
likely due to the reworked drug schedule.  One learning experience after
another, it is...

_H*